Desire, Strength, and Determination

There is a fourth member of this team, it is called endurance. On Monday, when my sister and I tackled the fencing, we kept going until we were done. It took us roughly four hours to move the fence line out.
I was glad to have her help as it can be quite a challenge to move the fences by yourself. The fence post driver is heavy and so I can not lift it high enough to place it on the fence post without bringing the fence post down to a level that I can reach. While Beatrice held the fence, I was able to do what I needed to do to drive the post into the ground. The process went real well. However, I paid the consequences of it yesterday when I tried to get the chores done and start work on my list. I found that I had little energy left, my endurance was gone and so I spent most of yesterday recuperating from Monday's expenditure of energy.
The lesson here is to find balance between desire, determination and endurance. My mind is willing but my body is not able to do all that I once did. The goal is to let my body get enough work to keep it strong and enough rest to keep it healthy so that hopefully one day, I will have the endurance I need to carry me through a days worth of work.

Round 4; Week Two

I have done really well this week and have accomplished quite a bit, all things considered. Today Beatrice and I doubled the size of the goose and chicken pen. The soil was perfect to work with so the fence posts were able to come out of the ground fairly easy. We reused all but one of them.
I am very tired tonight and struggling to stay awake but there was one more thing I wanted to tell you.

I was nominated and chosen to be a participant in the "Queen for a Day" program. I get to ride in a limousine, go to a beauty salon ,and get either my nails manicured or my hair fixed. Then we go to Lunch out a Peter's on Lake Ripley. I'm not sure all what else we will be doing but I have to figure out what to wear! This will be a first for me.

I must close, I can't stay awke.

Have a good evening!

Taking It Slow and Easy

Lawn mowing went well yesterday! I didn't have to mow the whole yard but only a couple of areas where the grass was getting long. I used the riding mower and just took it slow and easy.

Afterward, I came in and was going to take a nap but ended up sleeping the night away. I briefly woke up when Brian got home from work but laid back down and fell asleep. I woke up again around 9:30 and had some toast with my evening meds and went back to bed around 11. I slept pretty good the rest of the night.

I got my laundry done up before noon yesterday so today I am going to just take it easy!

Round 4; Week 1 Labs

My lab work came back looking real good today! They will drop from here over the next two weeks. I will be having my CT scan on May 3rd.
That would be my normal chemo day but Dr. Oken wants to see just how much this tumor has responded to the full four rounds of chemo that I have already had. I know that it is responding as people have told me that I look like I am losing weight and the scale denies it. My weight is actually pretty stable.
I am off the Prednisone for this round and am having the same withdrawal symptoms as before, they're not as bad though. After a nice nap and some medicine to combat nausea, I am feeling pretty good this afternoon!

I think I might try mowing the grass. Not sure how it will go but if I don't try I won't know!

Round 4; Day 5

I have been physically exhausted today and have spent much time sleeping the day away and resting. I took a lot of breaks yesterday while cleaning up the lawn but I think I over did it. Both Beatrice and I woke up with sore throats this morning and itchy eyes. We both thought we might be coming down with the cold that everyone else has had but by this afternoon we both were feeling better. We have agreed that it was probably a combination from all the dust, wind and debris from that cotton wood tree that gave us an allergic type reaction. Anyway we have both recovered from that and Beatrice has had enough energy to get alot accomplished at home so I am glad for her. Maybe I will have enough steam built up by tomorrow so that I can be out with Brian as he tills up the garden. It is Stake Conference tomorrow and Sunday so He will have to get the work done in the morning. The Adult session is tomorrow night but I think I will probably stay home. I'd have to go all the way up to St. Cloud and I get tired just thinking about the hours away from home. I'll have to wait and see how much energy I have. Just have to take it one day at a time.

Unsung Hero's

These are the people that go about helping others without boasting, they work quietly among us and never ask for compensation. I have been blessed by many unsung hero's throughout this ordeal and as I have sat and watched them work and give it their all I wonder what I can ever do to repay them for all their kindness. I ask the Lord to pour out the richest blessings upon them.
Throughout this whole trial one of my sisters has been consistently by my side helping me wherever, however, and whenever she can. She has multiple needs herself and I wonder how I can best fulfill some of her needs. She has been out here helping me again since the thunderstorm scattered debris from a cottonwood all over the yard.
It has left a huge mess and we have worked the past two days to clear it. Tonight the lawn looks much better! I have put up with the messes from that tree for 24 years. Most years I have cleaned the mess up by myself but the last two or three Beatrice has been right by my side helping me. We both agree that that tree needs to come down. It is getting to be too much for the two of us to handle. We found the name of the outfit that removed some of the trees out of her yard a few years back and gave the owner a call. He will be out on Saturday to take a look at the monstrosity. I'm sure it won't be cheap to take it down and some how I'll have to try to save up to do so but that is one expense that I think will be well worth it as it literally hangs over our heads and the house.

New Hair Style!

This is why I will never wear spiked hair!

My Saturday Warrior's

Last Saturday eight youth and some of the adult leaders showed up for a service project.
I never really realized just how much work goes into taking care of this property until I had to stand back and watch everyone work. They helped me with the yard work so that I can mow the grass/weeds. I am so thankful that they made it out here on Saturday because we had thunderstorms last night and the grass/ weeds are going to take off.

My warriors were: Brother Chris Meyers and his three children, Hannah, Molly and C.J.,
Brother Thomas, Sister Richardson and her daughter, Miren, Issac Parrish, Robert and John Bustamante and Cassie( a girl that comes to youth activities on Wednesday nights).

After three hours of hard work, it was meal time. I gave the kids a choice of either pizza or sloppy joes and they chose the pizza. Sister Richardson and I went into town to pick up the supplies. We, the young women, one young man put together the pizza's and Sister Richardson and I baked them. We all enjoyed them. Afterward we all went outside to finish up the job. I think they were here from 10 until 2. They did a fantastic job and I am very proud of them.

It sounds like the Elders Quorum is going to be putting together a working party next.
They are planning on bringing in the big guns, the bobcat and chain saws to help remove the jungle of Sumac that is threatening to take over the property. I have been whacking away at that stuff by hand and with chemicals for several years to try to keep it at bay but because I can't risk the blisters and open wounds on my hands this year I can't touch that stuff.

I have been blessed abundantly! The Windows of Heaven have been opened!

Round 4 Begins

Today I drove myself to my appointment. That was a big accomplishment for me as I have been having to force myself to go to the chemo session. Today was different as I didn't need any one to make sure that I got there. It wasn't easy but I got there. I still hold out hope that one day there will be something different to treat this cancer with but for now the chemo seems to be working. My hope ran high this past week when some ladies gave me more information about diet ect. that supposedly was given out by John Hopkins. They have a wonderful cancer treatment facility so I thought I could trust the information. I went to their web site and found out that the information I was given was an e-mail hoax and Johns Hopkins posted their rebuttal. There is also another hoax that has been circulating since 2004 that they did not publish.That one is about the release of dioxins from plastic products when they are heated.Any one wishing to know more please go to http://hopkinskimmelcancercenter.org/index.cfm/cID/1684/mpa
The internet can be a wonderful tool to find information on but when people publish misleading or false information it sure can be a huge let down. My hopes were dashed to pieces as I read what they had to say.

God offers me hope that is true and never changes,He will never let me down and right now He is holding and supporting me.

Round three of chemo went real well! No sore bowels, no nausea, no loose stools, no sore mouth, no infections, just some tingling sensations in my finger tips. That is from the Vincritine, which causes neuropathy. Hopefully that will go away and not become permanent.

My lab work from today showed that my white blood count is continuing to drop. It is down to 3.6. When it reaches 1.5 I will have to start wearing a mask. The number of Neutrophils has also dropped. They are down to 2.8 and if they go down to 1.0 I will also have to wear a mask. RDW ( not sure what that is) is high. The nurse was going to print me out a paper explaining all of these tests but it didn't get done. I think I can find the translation of them at some of the Lymphoma sites and so I will try to pull that up before I go on with the rest of the results. I know that my glucose levels were high but that doesn't really concern me as I had just polished off a big breakfast before going to my appointment. The nurse said that if they start getting concerned about diabetes ( my mom developed her diabetes after her cancer treatments)they will have me do a fasting lab. One of the liver function (LD)tests was high and the platelet morphology was abnormal.

For now, I made it through the fourth dose of chemo and I have my usual headache but it isn't anything major. I didn't get dizzy or light-headed this time but I am definitely tired. A nap is in order. Next week, perhaps on Thursday, I will have another CT to find out how much more this tumor has shrunk. I will likely see Dr. Oken after that. If it has shrunk enough I may start on the Rituxan with the next round of chemo therapy. Here's hoping that everything goes as well as it did the last round. My blood isn't too thin so that is two times in a row now! I hope that trend continues too!

Consumption to Resumption

This past three and one half months have gone by quickly despite the highs and lows I have had with my health. This cancer diagnosis and all the tests that I have had to have were so overwhelming and then all the drugs that were being given to me just put me over the top. I was feeling consumed by the cancer.
The warm weather and the visit of my daughter and grandchildren has helped me to return to my normal self. Melinda helped me to plant flowers and Jordan and Melia helped me to clean up the messy lawn. The sunshine and the warmth have brought forth the Daffodils, the Tulips, the Hyacinths, the Bleeding Hearts, the Columbine, and the Iris'. I had lost my interest in gardening but it has returned and I have been spending a lot of time outdoors working in my flower beds. Yesterday I returned to my garden plot and started to clean it up. I uncovered the Strawberries and discovered that they survived the winter. We should have a good supply of them this spring. The Rhubarb is also up and doing well. The Raspberries are starting to send forth their leaves.The Thornless Blackberry that I planted last fall survived the winter so I am looking forward to having some of them this spring/ summer as well. My life has resumed and it feels good.

Lab Results for April 5, 2010

My white blood count was at 3.5 today. That is the lowest it has ever been but I have to say that I am still feeling well and have not come down with any infections. Brian has a cold though so I have to be very careful around him. The number of lymphocytes floating around in my blood is slightly low but otherwise everything looks good.
My blood has thickened up to where they want it to be so hopefully I can keep it there through diet and not have to adjust the warfarin again.
Monday, if I am still well, I will start round four of chemo. Then during the second week of round four I will have another CT scan to find out if the tumor has shrunk enough to add the Rituxan to the plan

Happy Easter!

It is good day! I have been blessed this past week by a visit from our daughter, Melinda and her two children, Jordan and Melia. It was wonderful to be able to have them in our home for four, blissful days. I felt good the entire week and was able to go with them to St. CLoud and also to spend an entire day outside! On Thursday, Jordan and Melia helped to clean up the lawn. I taught them how to back up the lawn tractor with the wagon behind it. Jordan did a fantastic job and gained the technique real quick. Melia enjoyed driving the tractor but didn't like to have to back up the wagon so she and Jordan took turns driving the tractor back and forth from the piles of leaves and branches to the dump off site.
Melinda helped with the cooking and the dishes so that I could spend more time with Jordan and Melia. That was a wonderful gift of time. I took advantage of spending time with our grandchildren. Brian took them out to Collinwood in the afternoon to go for a hike and to also allow them to have fun on the rip line but they were disappointed to find that the rip line had been removed and so had the upper play ground. It has all been turned into camp sites.
The week has gone by fast and despite the wind it has been beautiful!

Thank you for all your prayers. They are working! I am feeling strong and well!