Why the title for this blog?

I struggle with staying positive in the sight of adversity. It is very easy for me to dwell on the negative aspects of my situation and miss the blessings that come from the trial and so I will use this blog to help me stay focused on the rainbows of my life.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hard Week

I haven't been feeling well this week. Wednesday morning I ended up taking an ambulance ride to the hospital. Between bouts of nausea and losing the contents I ran low on O2. My world wouldn't stop spinning. I figured that if I might pass out it would be best to be as close to the floor as possible so I said a prayer and slid off the toilet. At the same time a knock came at the front door. It was the Fed Ex man making a delivery to the house. I yelled for his help and he was gracious enough to call 911 while I crawled to the recliner with my eyes shut. I called Brian and told him where I was going and he took off work and came home. Yesterday, he took some paid time off as I still wasn't feeling good and I had started to run a fever. After more tests it was determined that I was very dehydrated and so I spent two hours in the chemo chair being given fluids. With the help of more drugs, I am fighting these side effects and hope to be better by tomorrow.

I have not felt good enough to answer e-mails so if you have recently sent me one please don't get miffed at me for not replying right away. I will get it done soon, I hope!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

False Hopes?

Today was my eighth round of chemotherapy. I wanted to try to stay positive so I took in a big ,beautiful bouquet of flowers from my flower gardens. I also took in a whole bunch of extra donuts that I had left from making donuts for Steve as he traveled home to Ohio. I told the ladies that I wanted to celebrate with them as this was my last round of chemotherapy. I pray with all my heart that this cancer is in remission
but the feelings that I have within me tell me another story. Is it false hope or lack of faith? I need to get a blessing.
On the 26 I go in for a PET scan. It will tell me weather or not i have any sign of cancer in my body. I don't know if it will tell me about the cancer in my bones so I may still have to have the bone marrow biopsies.
I am afraid to hope for fear that I will be crushed if the cancer is not in remission. The nurse told me to take one day at a time. So for today, I made it through the chemotherapy and I am home in the air conditioning. They do not want me to be out in the heat and humidity as my body is already dealing with the chemo drugs. I am to stay out of the sun and stay in where it is cool. The fact that I have been asked to give a talk next Sunday will help me to do just that.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Round 4 of Rituxan

My blood work was okay today and so I received the fourth round of Rituxan along with Zantac, Benadryl, and Tylenol. It took 4-1/2 hours but I slept through most of it.
Tomorrow will be my eighth round of chemo. I will find out when I am to come in for my next CT scan.
I am afraid to hope that this cancer is gone. If I get my hopes up to high and it is still here I'd be crushed and so I have to just leave it in God's hands and accept whatever comes. I am going to pray for a miracle- Prayer and Miracles I know happen every day.

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Week In Review

This week has been a busy one.
Monday i had my one year review at the Pleasant View house in town.
It was also my blood check day. I took care of those two items in the morning. In the afternoon, I spent three hours picking Raspberries .

Tuesday, I worked on the yard before it rained again. It seems like lately I have to mow between rain storms. I also waited for Steve to get here. He was driving in from Ohio and stopped in Madison, WI to visit with Melinda. I am glad that they had the chance to visit each other.

Thursday, I had an appointment with the banker, that went so so.
I also had care conferences for my father and those went pretty good.

Then I came home and tried to rest .

Tonight I came home from the branch camp out. It wasn't very well attended so all I am tired and fighting sleep.

Will write mor at A latter time.

Almost asllep1