False Hopes?

Today was my eighth round of chemotherapy. I wanted to try to stay positive so I took in a big ,beautiful bouquet of flowers from my flower gardens. I also took in a whole bunch of extra donuts that I had left from making donuts for Steve as he traveled home to Ohio. I told the ladies that I wanted to celebrate with them as this was my last round of chemotherapy. I pray with all my heart that this cancer is in remission
but the feelings that I have within me tell me another story. Is it false hope or lack of faith? I need to get a blessing.
On the 26 I go in for a PET scan. It will tell me weather or not i have any sign of cancer in my body. I don't know if it will tell me about the cancer in my bones so I may still have to have the bone marrow biopsies.
I am afraid to hope for fear that I will be crushed if the cancer is not in remission. The nurse told me to take one day at a time. So for today, I made it through the chemotherapy and I am home in the air conditioning. They do not want me to be out in the heat and humidity as my body is already dealing with the chemo drugs. I am to stay out of the sun and stay in where it is cool. The fact that I have been asked to give a talk next Sunday will help me to do just that.